Legal Note: The Tiny Toon Adventures tittle, characters, etc. Are
copy right, of Warner Bros. inc. Lance Freebird is my creation and I
would appreciate it if my permission was asked if somebody wishes
to use him in a story.

Authors Note: This is my first attempt at a TTA story. It isn't as
cartoonish as it could be. My apologies for any misspelled, words
typos, etc. I am planning on continuing this story, I'll be happy to hear
any other persons continuation of the story. But please ask me before
you post any thing. And if you wish to use Lance for a story, send me
a copy of your story if I approve I will send you a character sheet on
Lance. You can e-mail me at Brockpc@aol.com. I take constructive
criticism, but don't e-mail me just to gripe about what was wrong. I
will respond to any e-mail if I can. Enjoy the story. Feel free to print
or post this story anywhere, but please don't alter it.
P.S. If you would like to make a tittle card (illustration) for this story I
will happily view any pictures sent.

Ooh, La La
By: Daniel Brock
Brockpc@aol.com

	Fifi was sitting in the Weenie Burger looking forlorn. She was
playing with a plate of half eaten food. Looking across the room she
saw a male skunk looking at her with concern. When he saw her
looking back at him, he quickly turned back to the burger he was
eating. When Fifi kept on looking, he turned a bright red color and
walked out of the Weenie Burger. Fifi wondered to herself why she
had not seen this skunk before. She was to depressed to think about
it for long. She had just been dumped by the latest skunk. Aww.
Finally, she got up and went home, it was a Thursday night, and she
seemed unusually tired.
	When she got to her Cadillac, she noticed a heart shaped box
outside her door. Curious, she walked over and read the card.
Speaking out loud, she said "Rozez are red, violets are blue, I would
like to zay,  I love you. your zecret admirer" As she picked up the box
of chocolates, she noticed that her admirer had forgotten to take off
the tag. The price on the tag said "Swiss Chocolates 49.99." "Ooh, La
La, Monsieur spared no expense." She happily ate one of the
chocolates, and went to bed. She had dreams of meeting her admirer,
a tall well muscled skunk, with love in his eyes.
	Fifi woke up in good mood. Humming to herself she started
putting on all her best makeup. Combing, and curling her hair, she
noticed a box on her window sill. Rushing over to it, she read the
card. "I hope you like it, it smells quite good. Yet, it doesn't even
compare to you. You're admirer from computer class." Quickly
opening the box, Fifi discovered a bottle of Classic #1, top of the line
perfume. Fifi clutched the bottle to her chest, and made a swooning
motion onto her bed. Putting on the perfume, Fifi started her walk to
school, wondering who her admirer could be. There were two skunks
in her computer class, Jake Landenmire, and John Sanderson. But
neither of them had shown interest before. In fact, Jake had a
restraining order against her. Walking up the steps to Acme Loo, she
noticed Buster, Babs, and Shirley talking outside the door.
	"Yeah, like I've never seen him before either. But like I hear
he transferred from Perfecto, er some junk." Shirley was saying as Fifi
walked towards them. "Fifi, do I smell Classic #1. That stuff's thirty
bucks a bottle." Shirley said sniffing the air.
	"Yes, I have ou do you zay, ze zecret admirer," Fifi said with
a grin.
	Spinning into a impresion of Lucy Riccardo, Babs turned to
Buster and said "Waaa, Ricky I want some too."
	In reply Buster getting flustered and pulling the collar of his
sweater he said "Well, uh thirty dollars is, uh, pretty expensive." Babs
only response was a glare. "Boy I'm gonna pay for that." Buster said
unhappily.
	Doing an impression of John Wayne, Babs said "Pilgrim, we're
gonna take care of this at high noon." Buster could only gulp loudly.
	Shirley glared at the two Bunnies, and said "Like, Fifi wasn't
done, ersome junk."
	"Yez zat iz not all. He alzo gave me a box of chocolates." Fifi
said dreamily.
	"Say Fifi, have you heard about our new transfer student. He
is supposed to be a skunk from Perfecto." Buster said with distaste.
	"Like Buster, don't be so quick to judge. This skunk might not
be such a bad guy," Shirley said in a lecturing tone.
	"I think that's him." Babs said pointing to a black skunk
walking up the steps. The skunk was tall, well muscled, but walked
with his head down, as if ignoring everybody else. "Hey, Come here."
Buster said in a commanding manner. The skunk just kept walking, he
stopped half way up the steps, he sniffed the air and smiled to himself
before continuing.  "What did I tell you, another arrogant Perfecto
flunky." Buster said with disdain.
	"Like, I don't think so Buster. I wasn't picking up any
arrogance from him, only sadness." Shirley said with a look of
concern.
	"I zaw im looking at moi, last night in ze Weenie Burger." Fifi
said while following the skunk into the doors with her eyes. "When he
zaw moi looking back at im, he turned red a walked away. One odd
zing waz, he waz looking at moi with conzern, I waz depressed last
night because Hans had dumped moi."
	Just then, the bell rang. The toons had to cut their talk short to
make it to class. As everybody was splitting up for class Buster said
"Remember, the Acme Bowl's soon, be careful around him."
	"Guy, I wonder what got into Buster." Shirley said to Babs
before she rushed to class.
	
	In Fifi's computer class, she was walking in when Montana
Max said, "So I hear you've been dumped again. Let's face it you're a
loser. Why don't you give up, and join a monastery. At least then
you'll have an excuse for never having a boyfriend. Ha."
	Before Fifi could respond, the new skunk walked over and
said in a commanding voice "You better apologize. Right Now!"
	Monty, was taken off guard, but when he could speak again,
he said "First off, who are you. Second, if you value your life, sit
down and shut up."
	The skunk, after telling Monty his name was Lance, sent a
barrage of insults toward Monty that would make a truck driver blush.
	Just as Lance was going to tell Monty what he really thought
about him, Monty sent a right jab to Lance's eye, sending crashing
into a computer. Shang Sung from mortal kombat comes on screen
and says "It has begun."
	Lance stood up walked over to Monty and said "I'm sorry for
insulting you, there are better ways of solving things than figh..."
	Lance didn't get to finish his sentence, because Monty sucker
punched him in the stomach. When Lance straightened up, his eyes
turned red, pulling out a mallet, Lance flattened Monty like a nickel.
Monty popped up to normal size, and jumped at Lance. All that could
be seen was a dust cloud, every once and a while you could see a
gun, or chainsaw, and even a cannon sticking out of the dust ball.
When the dust cleared, Lance had a black eye. Monty was bandaged
and in a wheel chair.
	One of the students had gone and got a the teacher. When the
teacher came in, who was incidentaly Wile E. Coyote, and saw Lance,
with Monty at his feet, he pulled a sign that said "all right, who, other than
Lance and Monty, knows what happened here?" Everybody in the
class pointed to Fifi. "All right, you go with them to the principal's
office, and get this thing cleared up."
	"Well, what happened here?" Bugs Bunny said to the trio.
After Fifi finished explaining what happened, when she got to the part
about Lance standing for her, he turned red and looked away. Bugs
sent Fifi back to class, and Monty to the in school suspension room.
Turning to Lance, Bugs said "What a first day. Monty can do a lot of
damage to yer rep, Lance. Ya know it's going to be hard enough to be
eccepted, especially when you come from Perfecto."
	Looking ashamed, Lance replied "I know, but, I can't stand it
when somebody insults a lady. And when he started insulting Fifi...."
	Grinning, Bugs said "I think I know what's going on here, you
better head back to class."
	Lance turned a bright red and headed back to class.
	When Lance got to class he saw a male skunk throwing
mouse pads at Fifi saying "I have a restraining order here, and I don't
know what chocolates you're talking about."
	When Lance entered the room, everybody stopped what they
were doing, and looked at him. Turning red, he went to his computer,
and started working. Fifi noticed that something fell out of Lance's
pocket, and landed on the floor, by Lance's computer. Walking over
and picking it up, Fifi saw it was a receipt for a bottle of Classic #1.
Before she could ask about it, the bell rang.
	In the lunch room, as Fifi, Shirley, and Babs were walking in,
they noticed that somebody was sitting where they normally sat. Babs
promptly walked up and said "Excuse me, you're sitting in my spot."
When the person looked up she saw it was the new transfer student,
she noticed his black eye, and became concerned. What made her
concerned was not so much the black eye, but when he looked up he
had a bleak look on his face. She was about to say something when
Buster came up.
	Buster, in seeing the skunk, got a scowl on his face and said
"What are you doing talking to my girl friend?"
	Lance stood up and opened his mouth, but bit back the hot
words he was going to say, instead he said "Sorry, I'll go now."
	"Buster," Babs growled, giving Buster a we're going to talk
about this later look. Yelling towards Lance, she said "Wait, it's O.K.
come back."
	Lance came back and said "It seems to upset your boyfriend
that I'm here, I don't want any trouble."
	Buster broke in saying "Hey, you started this when you
ignored me this morning."
	Looking Buster square in the eyes, Lance said, "If you had just
transferred to Perfecto, and after just hearing a barrage of insults from
anybody you so much as looked at and Roddy Rat told you to come
here, would you have complied?"
	Looking very embarrassed, Buster said, "I guess you're right .
I'm sorry. friends?" Buster held out his hand. Lance smiled and took
it. "Now that we're friends, let's talk about what happened with
Monty." Buster said sitting down.
	Everybody gathered around Lance, eager to hear what
happened. After hearing the story, Babs got a devious look on her
face, and said "So, how much did the perfume you bought Fifi cost."
	Without thinking, Lance said "It cost about forty bucks."
realizing what he said, Lance turned a very bright red.
	Seeing Lance's embarrassment, Fifi smiled, and said "Why
didn't you juzt tell moi you liked moi."
	"I was afraid you would just tell me to get lost." Lance
mumbled into his shirt. Speaking a little louder he said "So what do
you say, would you like to go to a movie with me."
	"Of courze, and after zat, what next." Fifi said seductively.
	"Well, I would say that's all up to you." Lance said with a
smile.
	"O.K., break it up you two, we still have Monty to worry
about," Buster broke in.
	At this reminder, Lance touched his eye, and said in a tone
that made the other toons shiver, "I think I know how to deal with
him."
	"That will just make Monty try even harder to humiliate you.
Besides I have a plan." Buster said devilishly. Everybody leaned in
eagerly. After hearing Buster's plan, everybody agreed that is would
work. "O.K. Babs, go convince Calamity to help us. Shirley, see if you
can't convince Plucky to let us borrow his tape recorder. Lance, take
this note to Bookworm. Fifi, you ask Bugs to set a school dance for
tomorrow night. I'll take care of Monty."
	At Calamity's house Babs is trying to convince him to help.
"This will get Monty good, don't you want to help?" Babs said
desperately.
	Calamity took out A sign saying "If Monty catches me, I'm
toast."
	After thinking for a bit, Babs grinned widely "What if I can
assure you, that if you do this, Fifi will leave you alone during the
dance tomorrow."
	Calamity pulled out another sign saying "I'll get to work right
away."
	At Plucky's house, Shirley is having a hard time convincing
Plucky to give up his recorder. "But Plucky, like, Buster needs it, er
some junk."
	"No way, this is my Acme Recorder 2000." Plucky said while
hugging his recorder to his chest.
	Shirley had a tormented look on her face, as if she was
fighting an eternal battle. Finally she spoke up "Plucky, there's going to
be a dance tomorrow, if I agree to go with you, will you let me
borrow your recorder?"
	Plucky's eyes lit up at this. After thinking a moment he said
"Sure babe. until tomorrow then, my love fowl." and leaned in for a
kiss. Instead, he got a mallet in the jaw.
	After every thing had been done, Buster went to Monty's
house. Ringing the door bell, Buster prepared what he was going to
say. The door was opened by Groveley. When he opened the door,
Buster said "Hello. Is Monty here?"
	The Groveley replied, "Just a moment. Master Max, a, rabbit,
is here to see you."
	When Monty came to the door and saw Buster, he said
"You! What do you want?"
	Buster replied, "Well, Monty, we have a similar problem. I
want to get that new Perfecto skunk, and I would like your help."
	"I'm listening," Monty said shrewedly.
	Buster smiled mischievously, and said, "There's a dance planned
for tomorrow. I'm going to let you make an announcement about that
skunk. I will back anything you say. Between the two of us, that
skunk should be laughed out of Acme Acres."
	Monty smiled and said, "I like it, maybe we can get along
after this."

	It was the night of the party, everything was ready. The gym
was packed with the usual toons. Buster arrived first, with Babs on his
arm. Next, came an unhappy Shirley on Plucky's arm. Last, came
Lance wearing a black cape, strangely enough the cape didn't seem
out of place. Even stranger was the fact that he still had his black eye.
Next to Lance was Fifi, in a beautiful blue gown. The music was going
at a fast pace, Plucky was making a bad attempt at head banging.
Eventually the music slowed down, and Lance asked Fifi to dance.
Fifi and Lance glided around the floor gracefully. At the end of the
dance Lance and Fifi were looking into each others eyes lovingly.
Monty decided this would be the best time to humiliate Lance. Going
up to the podium on stage, he tapped the microphone and said
"Fellow toons, I would like to make an announcement. What I have to
say most of you would think were lies, but this time, I have Buster
Bunny, your student body president to back me. Well, here we go."
Monty began to say something that just shouldn't be repeated, but
what was heard over the speaker was "I, Montana Max, would like
to give my sincere apologies to Lance, the new transfer student. I am
but a lowly coward, that basks in his glow of bravery and kindness."
	Coming up to the podium Buster said, "Yes, Monty, like you
said, I back this completely."
	Turning red, Monty turned off the microphone, looking at
Buster he said "All I want to know is, how did you do it."
	Smiling, Buster said, "First we got Calamity to rig the speaker.
Next with a sample of your voice we got with Plucky's recorder, we
had Bookworm simulate your voice and put it on tape."
	"But that would cost a fortune, Bookworm doesn't work for
cheap," Monty said amazed.
	"That, was where Lance came in. Being from Perfecto it's quite
obvious, he has the funds to back Bookworm's work," Buster
said happily.
	Glaring at Buster, Monty said "I'll get you, you razafracin
rabbit."
	The music started up again, this time playing a close song. All
the toons were out on the floor for this one, even Plucky and Shirley.
As the song was drawing to an end Lance kissed Fifi passionately, but
broke off the kiss quickly saying " Fifi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push
so quickly."
	Fifi looked at him passionately and said "Kez moi you fool."
and with that she grabbed him and kissed him long and hard.
	When he could breath again, all Lance could get out was,
"Ooh, La La!"

The End

Legal Note: The Tiny Toon Adventures title, characters, etc. Are
copyright, trade mark of Warner Bros. inc. Lance Freebird is
copyright, trade mark of Daniel Brock. He may only be used in
a story with consent of, me.